Well, let me start out by saying that Berry internet is extremely annoying.
Now that that's clear, I'll say that this is a pretty bad intro paragraph to the second essay. Just look at the first sentence, "Poetry affects feelings and emotions." Those five words are about as unoriginal and boring as you can get. A well-written essay will have an opening sentence that hooks the reader in and really catches their attention. Also, the first and second halves of the paragraph don't seem to connect. At first it talks about poetry being connected to one's mood, and then it totally switches to the beauty and poetic qualities of nature.
I know you said to point out the good AND bad in this paragraph, but it's honestly kind of hard to find good in a paragraph that doesn't even say anything about the assigned topic of "does poetry matter?"
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